Happy Euphoria day to all who celebrate – on the day of this monumental occasion of the third and final season heading to screens, we're blending together two of our favourite pastimes: astrology and watching the TV series (even if it makes us feel like pure crap afterwards).
For your viewing pleasure as much as for ours, we've gone deep into the zodiac signs of each Euphoria character. Surfacing with a detailed, almost psychotic, exegesis on the emotional, Cancerian psychology of Cassie and all the evidence we have as to why Elliot is actually an Aquarius. After much back and forth, consider this a definitive list.
Rue: Virgo
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Our leading lady Rue is most certainly a Virgo. Ironic or not, Virgo's are the sign of self-growth, which gives us hope for Rue's future and explains how, when she doesn't meet the expectations she sets for herself and the one's she believes her loved ones to have of her, she descends into self-destruction – just as she did when she couldn't follow Jules to the city. And if you've seen a Virgo in their element, lists and all, who else could be so dogged and fierce in their own self-destruction? As Rue says to Nate in season one, she knows how to go for her own jugular: “You gonna ruin my life? I fuc*ing promise you I can do that a lot better than you can".
Maddy: Scorpio
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Maddy is straight up. She doesn't do small talk and she calls things what they are. "Your whole family is so fucking weird", tell 'em girl. As a Scorpio, this part of her personality can make people uneasy, especially when they have something to hide, but for others as we see with Kat and Lexi, this side of Maddy is a comfort and allows them to feel seen. In her element she leans into her sexual energy, this manifests in the show through her style wearing designers like Dion Lee and Blumarine. Trust is also a big thing for her. As we see in Euphoria, without trust and when Maddy is in a dark place as she was in her relationship with Nate, she could be vindictive, manipulative and controlling. As water signs, Cancers and Scorpios are natural best friends like Cassie and Maddy, that's why when Cassie ruined her trust we wanted to throw her in the bin.
Cassie: Cancer
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This is the easiest line to draw. Yes, Cassie is an emotional little Cancerian. Lacking harmony in her home life since her Father left, things have been rocky for Cassie. We'd feel sympathetic if only she wore it better. Cassie needs a lot of validation, she's deeply sensitive and internalises her interactions with others to the point where she catalogues them, storing them away as evidence or as a weapon to self-flagellate. Cassie wants to nurture every boyfriend she's ever had. She offers herself to her loved ones generously and at the slightest hint of affection she becomes fiercely protective and dependant. It's just sad that this part of her personality is reserved solely for romantic love. We wish she was loyal to Maddy over Nate, although you see her struggling with this internally as season two plays out. When she feels she's been slighted, critiqued or not fully seen, she becomes defensive and lashes out. For evidence simply refer to the scene where the girls questioned her Oklahoma-esque outfit in the bathroom, then when her Mum called her out for sleeping with Nate, so we can only hope Lexi ducks for cover.
Lexi: Taurus
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As an earth sign, Taureans are steadfast and reliable. Despite their friendship fading, each time Rue approaches Lexi for a favour, be it peeing in a bottle or to keep her drug-taking secrets, Lexi pulls through. She's a comfort to her Mum and remains steady and balanced while Cassie gleans the spotlight. Taureans tend to stick to their comfort zones in an effort to stay in control, but as Lexi learns, when she's not overthinking and escapes her comfort zone, that's where the magic happens; say with Fezco or the play.
Jules: Pisces
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Jules lives in a glittery, pastel-coloured world of her own invention, feeding into the elusive image some have of her. She's whimsical and impractical, needing freedom in all its forms: sexual, emotional, creative and just like the slippery Pisces fish, Jules is a master escapist. When Nate threatened her she got drunk at the Halloween party and fled to New York City. When Cal Jacobs assaults her, as a reaction to discomfort and trauma she dissociates. Although, it seems in season two she's opting for fight rather than flight, as we observe when she confronts Rue for lying about being sober. In true water sign form, Jules is an empath. She feels for Rue, even at first for Nate, and as someone with so much emotional depth, she finds it difficult to disentangle her own emotions from those of others. Growing more self aware, this season we see Jules set some firm emotional boundaries.
Elliot: Aquarius
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Elliot you soft boy. We god damn love you, but we can't trust you. As a newcomer to season two, the outsider zodiac is a fitting sign. With the distance of someone with no skin in the game, Elliot enters Jules and Rue's world, making astute observations that are inconsequential to him, and drops them on both girls leaving them to clean up the mess. At first this is cute, he showers Jules with compliments and joins Rue in taking drugs. But as a true air sign, Elliot's ability to detach himself from his emotions and from those around him, make it hard to trust his intentions. Which at the end of the day overshadows his progressive ideals and overall sxcness.
Nate: Gemini
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Not all Gemini's are evil reincarnate but Nate sure is. Of course, this didn't happen by chance. As an incredibly curious sign, this trait led Nate to find those CD's of Cal's and learn of his dad's lies and infidelity. Pair this with the fact that Gemini's are known for their dual nature and ability to deceive and you end up with a person who can conceal their emotions well. Hence the fact that Nate has a whole lot of unchecked rage simmering below the surface.
Faye: Libra
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In their pursuit of harmony and balance Libra's will avoid confrontation at all costs. Even if this at the detriment to themselves. Faye is no different. Despite her boyfriend putting her in risky situations and ignoring her wellbeing, she chooses to go along with staying at Fezco's in the hope of keeping the peace. She's a people pleaser and makes herself smaller as she lives with Fez and Ash so as not to be a burden. This is also another reason why she goes along with whatever plan her boyfriend is cooking up, although I wonder how this will play with her dislike of conflict in the finale. Also! Like all hot Libra's Faye has an eye for beauty, the driving force behind those extremely cute, manga-inspired looks.
Need something to fill the time between Euphoria season three episodes? Here are 18 movies and TV shows like Euphoria to plunge into next.
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