Horoscopes

We paired the ‘Succession’ characters with their star signs because we’re serious people

succession star signs

If you have never thought to pair the characters of Succession with their most fitting star sign, I love you, but you're not serious people. It has to be said. Since we've dissected the stealth wealth fashion looks from the show and laughed along to all the Twitter memes, it was only a matter of time before we conducted a very serious assessment and looked at the series through an astrological lens.

Below, each Succession character and their respective star signs. You're welcome.

Capricorn: Kendall Roy

 

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As the would-be heir to Waystar Royco from an early age, Kendall has had a sense of duty and responsibility drilled into him. Which explains the eldest child vibes. As with most ambitious A-type Capricorns, Kendall is goal-oriented and thrives on discipline and direction. But when we move into emotional territory, Kendall becomes stoic and tight-lipped. How about that rebellious streak? You don't need to stars to tell you, the bad boy Roy is just trying to thrash against the machine.

 

Aquarius: Connor Roy

Ah, the first pancake. Aquarians tend to orient themselves as outsiders, a dynamic we've witnessed between the three younger siblings and Connor. While, for the most part, this is an isolating experience (Connor literally spends a chunk of his time on a ranch in the New Mexico desert to avoid getting in the way), it provides enough distance for perspective. As Connor made clear in his dramatic monologue in Season 4, Episode 2, unlike the rest of his siblings, he's learned to live without the respect of his dad. Plus, the whole presidential campaign story arc slots in nicely with the ideas-oriented aspect of the Aquarius, even if the ideas he stands for are tax breaks for billionaires, etc.

 

Pisces: Tom

Always the first to say "I can fix them", Pisces is the best way of understanding our slippery, ambitious friend, Tom Wambsgans. Compassionate and healing, Tom was there for Shiv at a time when she wasn't doing too well. However, we see that relationship mutate into one where Tom is giving and Shiv is taking. Of course, Tom handles this simply by being delusional and indulging the fantasy (he has his own motives too), whether that's succeeding Logan over Shiv, enjoying the open marriage arrangement or being a respected member of the Roy family. This all comes to a head at the conclusion of season 3, of course.

 

Aries: Stewy

Stewy isn't here to make (or maintain) friends, rather, he's in the game to compete. The first to initiate a play, it's his 'fight fire with fire' mentality that makes him such a compelling adversary and his self-interest that makes it difficult to reign in.

 

Taurus: Willa

 

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Risk averse and drawn to safety and security, Willa is a clear cut Taurus. She is willing to forgo a romantic connection as long as her marriage to Connor guarantees social mobility, a comfortable existence and access to a pool of money. Plus, Taureans have an appetite for beautiful things; they want to be surrounded by an abundance of good food, wine, music and art – and while Sands, Willa's Roy-funded play on Broadway is objectively bad, it allows her proximity to the theatre, which is all the playwright-not-escort desires.

 

Gemini: Roman Roy

We know you're not supposed to have favourites (especially in a show like Succession) but we love our little slime puppy. Obviously, he's a Gemini (it's literally in the name Romulus). That much is clear from his zingy one-liners, which stand out as some of the best writing on the show, and his duplicitous trickster nature. Like most Geminis, Roman is perceptive and constantly gathering intel, all of which help him to blend in in a variety of crowds. Underneath it all though, is a middle child with mummy and daddy issues.

 

Cancer: Colin

Poor Colin. The man has followed Logan through thick and thin, protecting him against protesters hurling balloons filled with piss and even sitting with the old fool at his sad birthday dinner. Now the king is dead and he is there just waiting outside the airplane. He's clearly a masochistic Cancer, loyal until the very end. Cue the ending where Logan names Colin successor and the sole beneficiary of his will.

 

Leo: Logan Roy

A natural born leader, Logan Roy (rip) has sustained his role at the head of the pack through force and intimidation. Like all Leos with a flair for the dramatic, there's a theatricality to what Logan does. He keeps people in suspense and dons various personalities to get a job done. Most of the time to the applause of those in his orbit. The old lion has a stomach for competition and can be ruthless when backed into a corner activating that killer instinct Logan bangs on about.

 

Virgo: Kerry

Well, for starters, as the assistant to Logan Roy you're going to need to make a lot of lists, which we all know is the bread and butter of Virgos. Some call it opportunistic others will say its the ability to milk the most out of a situation, but Virgos see the potential in every circumstance and will use it to their advantage. Say, for an anchor job or access to a very large fortune.

 

Libra: Cousin Greg

The audience surrogate. At first glance Cousin Greg is a people-pleasing pushover; running errands for Tom, letting Kendall use his apartment as a nightclub and faltering at the sight of Logan or his own grandfather. But Cousin Greg is actually just terrible at confrontation like most Libras, which can be tricky to navigate as a person with a moral compass working at Waystar Royco. But the kid is getting better at setting personal boundaries (see: the "secret" file under his desk) and having those uncomfortable conversations.

 

Scorpio: Gerri

Part of the reason Gerri has lasted so long in the inner sanctum is owed to her ability to sit in the shadows and massage those around her. Like most Scorpios, Gerri is finely attuned to the power dynamics in a group and will make them work to her own advantage. She is quietly powerful and can read between the lines, which is why people like Logan and Roman look to her as a sounding board. As a Scorpio in a hostile environment, Gerri doesn't trust easily and will let others go out on a limb first. Her potent relationship with Roman is an example of her ability to hold space for others, even if it's sexually, which is why Roman's dismissal of her was a true betrayal. Let's see where they end up these next episodes.

 

Sagittarius: Shiv Roy

Like her half brother Connor Roy, who was interested in politics at a very young age, Shiv scooted past the family business to carve out her own path in life. That was, until her father dangled the carrot that is Waystar-Royco in front of her eyes, and she abandoned her quest for individuality and freedom of movement. The adventurers of the zodiac, Shiv hates stagnation, which she comes to find in her relationship with Tom.

 

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