This time of year I am reminded that there is nothing more socially unbecoming than plastering your IN and OUT lists across Instagram and TikTok.
In the beginning this sort of undignified display was done in earnest, as things always tend to be at the beginning of a New Year. People, understandably, were attempting to take back some semblance of control during a particularly volatile moment – even if this presented as simple vows to cook more or scroll less. Basic but, like, not bad advice?
Then came the agents of chaos (and later, worse still, the boring 20-somethings*) offering up their own lukewarm lists with abandon thinking they would reveal stores of taste or discerning observations, when what they actually demonstrate is just how dull we all are. "Vaping OUT! Lying... IN! Driving... OUT! 3pm sweet treats... IN!"
Como se dice...we don't care? Leave it in your notes app.
At least in the days of New Year's resolutions, people took a leaf out of Bridget Jones' diary and limited those flimsy little promises to the pages of their journal. And when they fell apart a fortnight later, no one had to know about it. Now, self-development is not inherently embarrassing, but what is, is foisting your arbitrary takes onto your following who are casually sipping their full milk flat white, only to scroll past your OUT list with dairy tucked underneath. Why are we demonising basic food groups? What do you get out of performing your bad taste for the world to see? Trick question. Eat a block of cheese and enjoy your life. It'll make the dawn of another year less daunting, I promise.
It's high time that everyone kept their opinions to themselves, except for me, because this opinion is in and all others are out. I don't make the rules, sorry!
*NB: I am boring and in my 20s, this slander comes from a position of authority.