At the risk of sounding like RUSSH's resident pessimist, the fragile thing about love is that it is, more often than not, doomed. Life gets in the way, feelings are one-sided, or we swallow our desires to avoid getting hurt. In fact, it's something of a miracle when everything aligns.
Unrequited love, the bittersweet ache of loving even if it isn't returned, has long been cinema's achilles heel. The screen loves to display the desperation of the heart, the yearning of the lover, and the vulnerability that this provokes. When we're in the trenches, we selfishly find solace in seeing others endure the same trials and tribulations on screen. Blame it on our humanity.
These films involve both the heartbroken and the heartbreaker. If your heart has recently been hurt, or you are a yearner by default, these films are your bread and butter. Below, our pick of the best films about unrequited love.
1. Call Me by Your Name
I will never tire of watching this film. If you haven't feasted your eyes on this Guadagnino masterpiece, respectfully, what are you doing with your life? Set in the '80s in Northern Italy, where piazzas reign supreme, this film follows Elio and Oliver, whose love is doomed from the jump. Elio's father, an archaeologist, invites Oliver to stay with his family and assist with academic matters, yet fleeting encounters between the two boys quickly spiral into a summer romance. With an expiry date placed upon their relationship, Elio is left with the pain of memory of what could have been.
2. 500 Days of Summer
The tale of a work crush is as old as time. This non-linear film will tug at your heartstrings, told from Tom's perspective (a certified hopeless romantic), who is set on Summer being his one and only. Without giving too much away, Summer has other plans, and breaks things off abruptly. In a melancholic state, Tom ponders on the 500 days the two spent cuffed up, trying to piece together exactly when their love was tainted.
3. In the Mood for Love
Set in 1962 in Hong Kong, this Wong Kar-wai work of art follows two neighbours, who are both grappling with their own respective heartbreak after finding out their partners are having an affair. Their unspoken bond brings them closer together, yet their love doesn't completely come to fruition as neither of the two wants to stoop to the level of infidelity. The scenes until the curtain is drawn are sultry and sensual, and a visual feast for the sentimental watcher. Simmering tension is rife in this film, and its contents reside in the subtext. In the Mood for Love is one to be revisited, time and time again.
4. He's Just Not That Into You
He's Just Not That Into You is a lesson in misreading situations due to crumbs of misinformation — we've all been there. This rom-com follows a string of Baltimore residents whose lives intertwine as they try to make sense of the complexities of their relationships.
5. Her
AI in film. Questionable in theory, ridiculously gorgeous in delivery. Theodore is left with an aching heart after his marriage ends, and leans into his fascination with a new AI operating system, where he meets Samantha, whose voice guides him to a deeper self-reflection. What initially begins as a Chat-GPT-esque bond quickly deepens into love. Whilst we don't want to give away the entire plot, loneliness and longing are unwavering themes within this Spike Jonze film.
6. Past Lives
Yes, I may have watched this last night. And yes, I may or may not have already seen it on multiple occasions. This film is the slow burn of all slow burns, a puppy love that never fully amounts. Two childhood sweethearts are pulled apart when Nora's family emigrates from South Korea to Canada. Years later, Hae Sung sets out to reconnect with Nora online, and the two begin to make up for lost time, reminiscing over Skype. Decades later, Hae Sung and Nora meet in New York for a fateful week where they explore the weight of their choices. This modern romance explores their unspoken connection that transcends the bounds of time and place, as the two share a palpable connection that is quiet yet powerful.
7. The Great Gatsby
Shoutout F. Scott Fitzgerald. Narrated by Gatsby's neighbour, this one follows self-made tycoon Jay Gatsby (played by no other than DiCaprio), who longs for his first love, Daisy Buchanan, hosting opulent soirées in the hope that she will one night attend. Set on Long Island in the Jazz Age, this film explores how love is synonymous with obsession, company doesn't equate to companionship, and sometimes, what's in the past cannot be revived.
8. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Sometimes even the cushiest love makes us want a lobotomy. In Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Clementine opts to have her memory wiped to forget about Joel after their relationship turns sour. Upon finding out, a distraught Joel decides to follow suit. The chaotic plot unfolds in chronoscopic time as they fight to remember one another and try to cling to remnants of their love. The film explores the harsh reality that pain is inseparable from love, how we are shaped by memory and the cyclical nature of longing.
9. Brokeback Mountain
This neo-Western romantic drama follows a ranch hand and a rodeo cowboy who fall for one another and commence a passionate affair when they are isolated from the constructs of rural America. Upon returning to their respective girlfriends, the two push down their feelings and embrace marriage, yet the lifelong connection is ever-present for the two shepherds.
10. Paris, Texas
Directed by Wim Wenders in 1984, this one has endured the test of time. Rightly so. This neo-Western drama road film follows Travis, a dishevelled drifter who has physically and metaphorically lost his way for four years. Travis tries to reclaim the memory of his past life through confronting grief and heartache, rebuilding the bond with his son, Hunter and travelling to Houston in a search to win his wife Jane back. A different kind of unrequited love, but painful nevertheless.
Feature image: IMDb
