I know, I know. We’re doing some hard-hitting journalism over here. But if there’s one thing tuckshop snacks and the zodiac have in common, it’s unshakeable personality traits. Some are practical and reliable (looking at you, Nutella snack packs with the weird little breadsticks), while others are pure chaos (Sunbites Sweet Chilli – why were they so spicy?). Some thrive under pressure (Babybel, peeling off the wax with surgical precision), and others just want to have a good time (Potato Smilies, a loveable fave). So, what does your snack of choice say about you? We've let the stars decide...
Capricorn: Red frogs
The snack equivalent of a mortgage deposit – sensible, structured, and guaranteed to get you through the day. No risk, all reward. Capricorns would also be the ones rationing them out so you don’t run out too soon.
Aquarius: Frog in a pond
Who else would take a perfectly good jelly and throw a chocolate frog in it? Chaotic, inspired, and somehow... it works. A snack that makes no sense yet sparks joy – just like every Aquarian conversation.
Pisces: OAK Strawbie Milk
A little unhinged but in a way that makes life more fun. No one needs pink milk, but we’re all better for it. Just like a Pisces, it’s sweet, a little dreamy, and may or may not leave you questioning reality.
Aries: Warheads
No explanation needed – just pure, face-melting intensity with zero regret. The snack equivalent of taking things way too far and then laughing about it while everyone else recovers.
Taurus: Ovalteenies
Predictable, comforting, a favourite of your Grandparents. A no-drama snack for a no-drama sign (until you eat the last one). Bonus points for the satisfying crunch, and perfect for a Taurus who appreciates the finer details of snacking.
Gemini: Red Ripperz
Charming, audacious, and always at the centre of a scandal – sound familiar? They've had a rebrand (a sign of their adaptability), but they'll always be a fan favourite. And the one you'll spend your last 20c piece on every damn time.
Cancer: Milo cup
Soft, sweet, and full of childhood nostalgia. Will definitely cry if you steal a bite. The kind of snack that makes you feel hugged from the inside, just like a Cancer’s emotional support texts.
Leo: Pizza rounda
The cafeteria MVP. Loud, bold, and always the centre of attention – whether you love them or not, you will acknowledge their presence. The kind of snack that enters the room first, and the conversation second.
Virgo: Chicken chippies
Reliable, efficient, and perfectly seasoned for a structured, no-fuss experience. A Virgo-approved snack with zero room for disappointment. The first thing gone at a party because even chaotic people trust them.
Libra: Zooper Dooper
Fun, flirty, and only as good as the flavour you pick. Libras, much like a blue Zooper Dooper, just get it. The snack equivalent of being effortlessly cool and somehow making everyone fall in love with them.
Scorpio: Blue slushie
Looks unassuming, but one wrong move and it’s straight to the face. No snack embodies the Scorpio energy of love-me-or-fear-me quite like this. The type of treat that hits hard, leaves a mark, and is still completely irresistible.
Sagittarius: Mamee noodles
Zesty, unpredictable, and an absolute thrill in every bite. Might be eating them dry straight from the packet, but who are you to judge?
