I arrive at Il Delfino on a Monday afternoon, after driving three and a half hours in the rain. The sky is thick with grey. When I open my car door, the smell of the ocean is everywhere. This smell always reminds me of my childhood vacations on the Sunshine Coast – fresh saline and wet rocks – and I know it’s going to be a quiet few days (in the best way).
During my journey to Yamba, I collated my ideas on what I wanted to write – not only during this residency but also after: in the weeks, months and years to come. It’s a funny thing, writing. When I’m not writing, I’m thinking about what I want to write; when I am writing, I’m thinking about what else I could be writing. It’s difficult to “live in the present” –I’m always striving, thirsting, reaching for more, for bigger. Should I just say screw it and quit my jobs and finish a fiction novel? There are four prizes I want to submit to in the coming months – should I be writing fresh material for all of them? How do I find a literary agent without being a sellout?
When I was in Melbourne last week, I visited a good friend and fellow writer. We talked for hours on end about our creative practices and if artist intention matters. Over Thai hotpot and spicy salads, she told me about a story she wanted to write about her Burmese relatives and their serendipitous connections to water. It sounded so compelling and profound I almost felt a pre-emptive anger for the potential that she may not write it and that I may not be able to read it – all of which I have no control over.
I am watching the pre-cyclone tides crash in at the base of the inn and I am also feeling a pre-emptive anger for my own stories that may or may not surface. I am always lamenting the memories that make up a large portion of my writing but I do feel grateful I can recall them at all. I am also grateful I can write my stories for others to read – and that sometimes, they land me in a place as beautiful and restorative as Il Delfino.
Want to read more of Becca Wang's work? Enjoy her Literary Showcase 2024 winning piece, Violin Concerto.
