There’s a long history of endometriosis being minimised – reduced to “bad periods,” filed under women’s problems, and quietly endured rather than urgently addressed. For Abbey Lee, that culture of dismissal is no longer acceptable.
Her initiative, MEN FOR ENDO, is grounded in a simple but strategic reframing: endometriosis is not just a women’s issue – it’s a human one. Affecting one in nine women and those assigned female at birth, the disease carries an average diagnostic delay of years, often compounded by medical gaslighting and stigma surrounding reproductive health. By actively inviting men into the conversation – as partners, advocates and allies – Abbey is challenging both cultural discomfort and systemic inertia.
The premise is pragmatic. Research shows that when a man accompanies a woman to a medical appointment, diagnostic timelines can shorten. In a healthcare system still shaped by gender bias, male validation can accelerate belief. MEN FOR ENDO confronts that reality head-on – not to centre men, but to mobilise them within a structure that already takes them more seriously.
At a recent dinner at The Wall Street Hotel in New York, Abbey shared her personal experience alongside fellow endometriosis advocate Elsie Hewitt, (who were both sporting Paspaley jewels for the celebration), traced familiar patterns of delayed diagnosis, chronic pain and the psychological toll of not being heard. The room – filled with actors, directors, designers, entrepreneurs and doctors, many of them men – reflected the initiative’s core message: awareness must extend beyond those directly living with the condition.
Below, Abbey Lee speaks candidly about persistence, vulnerability and why shifting this conversation could change outcomes in more ways than one.
MEN FOR ENDO reframes endometriosis as not just a “women’s issue,” but a human one. Why do you think men have historically been left out of this conversation – and what changes when they’re actively invited in?
Well, I think there has been a real stigma around women’s health issues and our bodies. I think we have been seen as somewhat disgusting when it comes to issues that involve the pelvis. But I feel strongly that the rhetoric is changing and there is an understanding that reproductive and menstrual concerns are not just women’s issues but rather that they affect everybody. Having men support women going through these issues, creates a strong support network, and unfortunately, because men are still taken more seriously it has been proven that it can cut diagnostic delays by up two years if a man is present with a woman during her medical appointment. Going through a chronic medical condition is incredibly exhausting and having any support, including male support, can be a huge relief, so for me that is the biggest change I’d hope for.
During the dinner, both you and Elsie Hewitt shared your personal journeys with endometriosis. What did it mean to witness another woman speak her truth in that space – and how does shared vulnerability amplify advocacy?
It was so interesting to hear another woman speak about her journey because there were so many sentiments echoed between us, which is just proof that there is a clear pattern to the issues that arise when it comes to endometriosis. We both spoke of diagnostic delays, medical gaslighting, and the emotional instability that comes with this disease. The more people that talk about these issues openly the faster we get to being heard and things changing on a deep level.
Do you feel there’s a generational shift happening, where women are less willing to suffer in silence – and how does that openness impact the men around them?
I think there has been a gigantic shift over the past decade and I think it has really allowed men to feel their own vulnerability. I think it takes vulnerability to really care about the people that you love and allow yourself to open enough to truly support them not just physically but emotionally and spiritually.
Dr. Tamer Seckin invited you to speak at EndoFound’s 17th Annual Patient Day in Times Square. What does it mean to have the medical community not only acknowledge but champion MEN FOR ENDO – and how do you hope your message resonates in that space?
I think it helps me feel like I’m truly on the right path with MEN FOR ENDO. I always felt in myself that it was important, but of course it helps to feel vetted by the medical community. Since the medical community is largely male I hope MEN FOR ENDO amnages to reach the minds of them also since there is still a lot of change that needs to happen deep within the medical field.
The room in New York brought together actors, directors, designers, entrepreneurs, doctors and philanthropists — many of them men. What does it signal when influential men publicly align themselves with a cause like endometriosis, and how do you ensure that support moves beyond symbolism into sustained action?
We all need role models or people to see ourselves in and be inspired by, so it has always been important to me to have a diverse group of men at these functions who might be able to encourage men like them to support and be aware. What’s important to me to encourage sustained action is that these events feel supportive and friendly and encouraging and not just a night filled with medical jargon. I think it’s very simple to move people permanently and that is all about reaching their heart. So, I tried to reach their heart to illicit sustained support. Every man I’ve ever known has loved a woman, whether it be platonic or not deep enough that it changes their perspective on the world.
Endometriosis is often invisible. In your own experience, how has that invisibility shaped relationships – and how can men better understand a condition they can’t physically see?
A somewhat invisible disease comes with its own difficulties for sure. I think it has made me incredibly tough because I got tired of trying to convince people that I was in pain so I’ve just learned to live with it and not share it, so unfortunately, I think it can feel very isolating. I really think the best thing that men can do is try to learn about endometriosis because it is a full body disease and can affect the entire woman. This includes the way she thinks, the way she feels, her energy level, her hormones, her digestive system. I mean the list is endless. So, trying to have the patience and understanding that she may be affected on more levels than first thought. Really the best thing to do is be educated.
MEN FOR ENDO is bold, strategic and deeply personal. What have you discovered about your own strength in stepping into advocacy so publicly?
I’ve always understood how resilient I am, but I suppose it has shown me how much persistence I can conjure. Because putting this together has taken a lot of time and energy and patience and hope and many times would have been a lot easier to just let go.
Looking forward, what does success for MEN FOR ENDO actually look like to you? Is it policy change, earlier diagnosis, cultural empathy – or something more?
I can’t say I’m entirely sure what the end goal is. MEN FOR ENDO is still so young and was only ever supposed to be one brunch event in Sydney. But because it was so impactful, I extended it to another event in NYC and now it’s slow slowly showing me what it wants to become. My goal has always been to just open the minds and hearts of men who may not know about this disease. Whether it’s spans beyond that, I don’t know yet. But knowing me, it most likely will.
